She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
