why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
