fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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