If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
