you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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