I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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