and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
