Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
