LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My ass is underappreciated
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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