OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Let's get the cat blown out
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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