I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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