Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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