i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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