And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
