if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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