A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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