got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
