wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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