i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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