hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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