I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
