What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
