just come out here and I will go home with you...
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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