She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
