Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
