You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
