Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I looked at my own cervix.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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