Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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