Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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