The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
worst night to have a conscience
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
