Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
