jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
