5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
