just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
