you turned your livingroom into a bong?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
