I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
