Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
