Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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