dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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