It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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