don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
