i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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