JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize