what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the day after is always just damage control
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
How does it feel to date your dad?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
