I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
