He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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