I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Farmville is her only friend.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
