I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I am naked and annoyed.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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