He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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