I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
