i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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