i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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